If you haven't heard, we're pregnant! And we couldn't be more thrilled! That said, I've been wanting to write the following post for a long time, but didn't know how to find the words that would adequately express all of my thoughts. So, bear with me.
I feel like a lot of what is portrayed in the blog world is a glamorized version of real life -- all smiles and very little heartache. Many times it leaves the reader feeling like their own life (a real, dynamic, and full one with both good and bad) doesn't live up to the ones of their friends. In reality, we all have our ups and downs, our personal trials and triumphs. Life isn't all cheesy grins into a camera's lens. Sure, it's natural to paint ourselves in the best light, but I guess I want to take a minute to be vulnerable. I want to empathize with those of you who might be facing a similar trial to one that I've recently passed.
It wasn't long ago that I wasn't pregnant and wondered if I'd ever be. Seth can attest that many nights I fell asleep puffy faced on a pillow dampened by tears wondering why things wouldn't work for us. I heard about couples that "oops!" got knocked up, and "oh, shoot! really didn't want to have a baby right now." And yet there they were, having a baby and there we were, wanting it so bad, and nothing. I'd open up facebook each day to see a new ultrasound, pregnancy announcement, or birth announcement and fight back the pangs of jealousy. It seemed to come so easily to others, yet for us all that loomed was the terrifying thought of the 'I' word... infertility.
If you're in this same situation, I just want you to know it didn't come easily for us. Certainly it could have been much worse. We weren't trying for three years, consulting doctors, and suffering through unsuccessful procedures; however, I now understand that when you want it, even a few months is an excruciating wait. For us it was closer to a year. In the midst of this trial I could see no light at the end of the tunnel, but now I can attest that the wait has made the fruit that much sweeter.
If you're facing this same trial, I hope this gives you a little bit of solace. The emotional roller coaster that comes with trying to conceive is one of the most painful things to face, yet no one talks about it, so a lot of times you end up facing it alone. I hope you can take a little bit of comfort in knowing that for at least one more couple, it didn't come easily.
Great post! I think so many of us go through this but never want to mention it. Thanks for sharing you honest experiences. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!
ReplyDeleteAnd you'll be the GREATEST mom EVER!!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't be happier for you Leia! You're post was quite sweet and heartfelt - I feel the SAME way about reading so many people's blogs...I feel like I have to glorify what I'm doing. But it's nice to hear about the ups and downs, and how you've stayed positive through it all. You're little baby will be blessed to have such great parents! I fear the 'I' word because it seems to happen to soo many people these days, and maybe it's just because we're at the stage of life where it matters. There's a reason for everything I guess!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you...
ReplyDeletegreat post Leia! We struggled for 2 1/2 years to get Lucy and then when miraculously we were pregnant I remember feeling this same way and doing a post similar. I was worried now that I was on the other side of things to post all about my pregnancy and baby. But friends helped me realize that I shouldn't feel bad for finally having a baby myself and It was my turn to be happy and i am not "rubbing" it in to others if I just post about it. So I hope your not feeling guilty or holding back because people will understand and it's totally your turn to enjoy it! Im so happy for you guys!
ReplyDeleteVery true Leia. Congrats, and thank you for being "vulnerable." We all go through so many trials, and they are TOUGH. Glad to know that someone else can understand some of life's "downs."
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